


A-Force Assemble

by AvengersAU



Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), Captain Marvel (2019), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anorexia, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Character Death, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Comfort, Depression, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Insomnia, Maria Hill Feels, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, POV Wanda Maximoff, Parent Carol Danvers, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Natasha Romanov, Reader has a bad day, Suicidal Thoughts, Unplanned Pregnancy, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersAU/pseuds/AvengersAU
Summary: Just a bunch of one-shots based on the incredible women of Marvel!GxG one shots only!I put Explicit just in case but warnings will be given at the beggining of each chapter.Marvel's caracters aren't mine but my stories yes so don't repost without asking :)
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Natasha Romanov, Carol Danvers/Wanda Maximoff, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill/Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 30
Kudos: 123





	1. WandaCarol - Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: PTSD, Panic attack

_The first time they met, it didn’t go so well. Nothing disastrous but it was just after defeating Ultron and Carol being Nat’s best friend and being herself, she was nothing but cold toward the little witch, even after Nat told her it was okay, that she didn’t hold it against Wanda. It didn’t stop Carol from staring with dark eyes at Wanda any time she could. Wanda being Wanda, she, of course, felt it any time too and slouched further in whatever she was doing at the moment, trying to disappear from the blonde’s sight._

_« Carol, you can’t keep on blocking her like this. » Wanda overheard one afternoon while she was coming back from her training session with Steve. She was beaten and tired and really really wanted to shower, but Nat’s voice and her sentence made her stop on the spot._

_« I can and I will Nat »_

_Carol._

_« I know it is because- »_

_« It’s because she hurt you. How can you trust her after this? She can do it again, and this time I’ll be here to stop her. »_

_« She is just a kid who made the wrong choices! We all did at one point, you did too! Of all people, you should know what’s like to fight on the bad side and realize it after. If someone could understand, it’s you! Come on Carol. »_

_Long silence. A sigh._

_« I… make no promises. But I’ll try to. »_

_« Thank you, Carol, »_

_And Wanda didn’t know why but she suddenly felt a lot better._

***

She is sitting outside the OT. Still in shock. Her baby blue jacket stained with blood. Tears continuously rolling down her face when the nurse reaches her. 

« Ms. Maximoff? »

She doesn't respond. 

« Ms. Maximoff? » 

Slowly, she comes back to reality and looks at the nurse. 

« Ms. Maximoff, the doctor has called you to his cabin. » the nurse says. `

She nods, wipes her tears and follows the nurse to the doctor's cabin. She picks up all the courage left in her body and knocks at the door. 

« Come in. » the doctor shouts.

She pushes the door and finds the doctor looking at some papers. 

« Oh yes. Ms. Maximoff. Please come and sit down in the chair. » 

She pulls the chair and sits down. She is ready to hear what the doctor is about to say. At least she thinks so.

« Ms. Maximoff.......I don't know how to say this. »

Her eyes wide and she puts her hand on her mouth. She can already hear them. She can already hear the words which are going to destroy her. 

« What happened to her, doctor ? » she asks in a whisper.

« There were deep injuries to her brain. We have treated her injuries. But…. » 

« But ? » she asks.

« It was too severe. It lasted too long. Her brain lacked oxygen for too much time, even for her, even for Captain Marvel. She is in a coma now and we don’t know if she is ever going to wake up. »

She lacks oxygen. When did it become so hard to breathe? Even moving her hand from her mouth seems too much to bear. She doesn’t see nor hear the doctor anymore. All she sees is the dead body of Carol - her Carol - motionless in front of her eyes. Dead. Dead.

***

_It doesn’t improve right away but at least Carol stops fixing her all the time. Wanda doesn’t feel as pressured as before and it’s both a relief and a disappointment, much to her confusion. Carol isn’t as cold as she was but they don’t talk either._

_Until that mission._

_They were infiltrating one of the remaining Hydra bases. Everything was going fine until Wanda entered a room. Here, on the walls, blood-stained pictures of everyone she has ever killed are pinned. People in Sokovia she couldn’t save. Her parents. Pietro._

_Her breathing is shaky, unstable. Black spots cloud her vision and she feels herself hitting the wall behind and slips against it. She doesn’t see anything else than red. Red like her power, red like the blood she has on her hands. Blood on her ledger like Natasha would say. This room was created for her, to make her lose control. She knows it and yet, she can’t control the panic rising in her chest._

_She vaguely hears someone calling her name. Two hands grab hers but she is still full of red. Her heart is pounding in her ears._

_« Maximoff! »_

_The voice is clearer now and if she is being honest, it kinda sounds like an angel. But she is still drowning. Water invades her mouth and lungs and she chokes on air._

_« Maximoff! Come on Wanda, work with me on this! In and out, slowly! »_

_She feels her right hand being placed on a chest._

_« Copy my breathing. Work with me. In. Out. There you go. Please breathe… Breathe Wanda. »_

_Slowly, she listens to the angel’s voice and her breathing rhythm slows down._

_« Yes exactly like this. You’re doing perfect Wanda. »_

_When her vision returns, she is welcomed by two worried hazelnut eyes staring at her. Two hazelnut eyes she finds herself lost in for a moment. Carol. Carol came to her._

_« C-Carol? How- »_

_« You didn’t respond over the com. I was the closest. Do you feel better? »_

_« Y-yes I think,» she replies, finally looking down. « Thank you. »_

_« Don’t mention it »_

_And with that, she is gone again. But inside Wanda, a flame is born._

***

She stands here, right outside Carol’s room. The nurse brought her here five minutes ago but she has still not moved. She is not ready. She will never be ready. Placing a shaky hand on the door, she pushes it forward and steps inside the room. 

Even if she imagined it, it’s even more heartbreaking to see it with her own eyes. Carol is laying on a white bed, tubs and machines plugged everywhere to help her lugs and body to function. Her skin is pale and she looks skinnier than usual. Her face is somehow relaxed, she looks peaceful, probably more peaceful than Wanda has ever seen her. Maybe that’s how she looked before becoming Captain Marvel, before all those responsibilities. 

Slowly, she comes next to the bed and sits on the rocking chair. She takes Carol’s hand in hers and intertwines their fingers. She looks up at Carol’s peaceful face and tries to memorize every single feature even if she already knows them by heart. After all, she spent hours tracing them over and over again. 

« The doctor said that talking to you could help. That maybe you could hear my voice. I- I don’t know if it true but if it is… Please, Carol. Please come back to me. I can’t lose you, not after losing everything. You’re the only thing that keeps me going on. P-please, come back to me. I am begging you! » 

Of course, she only meets silence. 

So she goes on praying. 

***

_It did get better after the mission. Carol talked to her more, even smiled at her and it only contributed to igniting Wanda’s flame. Yet, she was certain she didn’t stand a chance. Who would want her, the broken little experiment? So she kept it buried deep inside her and didn’t tell a soul about it. She was happy enough that Carol was interacting with her, she couldn’t risk losing this._

_However, one night, during another movie marathon organized by no other than Tony Stark, she spotted Carol staring at her. But contrary to before, her eyes weren’t cold but confused. As soon as she saw Wanda looking at her, Carol looked away. She didn’t look at her all night after this._

_The following days were confusing. Wanda didn’t feel like she did something bad or anything and yet, Carol had been avoiding her. No small talks, no smile. Right, when Wanda entered a room she was in, Carol found an excuse to leave. And it saddened Wanda more than she wanted it to. So to avoid being a burden to the one she loved, she simply stopped going out of her room. She barely ate, barely slept. She didn’t want to anyway. Food made her sick and she was too afraid of nightmares to sleep. Her training session was her only go out of the day. Slowly but surely she started losing weight. Everybody noticed and started asking questions but she simply pushed the subjet away by a hand gesture. Skipping meals was now a new habit. She always found another excuse to not stay with the other at night. She was dying and yet she didn’t care._

_In the third week and for the first time, she heard a knock at her door. She didn’t answer, thinking the person would eventually get tired and go away. She was too weak to move to open anyway and her head was spinning a bit for starvation._

_« Wanda please… open your door »_

_Wanda stopped breathing when she recognized Carol’s voice. Of course, of all people, SHE had to be the one checking up on her. She buried her face further in her pillow, trying to push her tears away. She didn’t notice that Carol had entered until she felt a warm hand on her back._

_« Wanda… » she heard her whisper._

_That’s all it took to break her walls and she started sobbing loudly, tears soaking her pillow. Two strong arms circled her waist and in no time, she is pulled on Carol’s lap and buried her face in her neck. Tears were now soaking Carol’s shirt but the captain didn’t seem to mind. She kept on stroking Wanda’s hair and rubbed her back until her cries slowed down. Even then, Wanda kept her face buried, using Carol’s intoxicating scent to bring peace in her mind while she could._

_It felt like an eternity yet too soon when Carol spoke again._

_« Wanda… Talk to me. What’s happening to you? »_

_Wanda sniffled and tightened her hold on Carol. She wanted to hug her as long as she could before being rejected. Because she knew she was going to tell her - there was no point in lying to Carol Danvers - and she needed this peace before being broken all over again._

_« Wanda, please… I- We all worry. We want to help you. »_

_« I love you » She let out of the blue, almost surprised by herself._

_She felt Carol tense up and shut her eyes closed, ready to be rejected._

_But nothing. No « sorry », no « I don’t love you », no running away._

_Just Carol relaxing and holding Wanda who was now on full koala mode a little tighter, starting to stroke her hair again._

_« I love you too, you idiot. »_

_It was Wanda’s turn to freeze. She pulled away enough to meet Carol’s eyes with an incredulous face on._

_« Y-You do? »_

_It made Carol laugh and Wanda blushed. Warm lips left a kiss on her cheek._

_« You do very much. I just wish you would have talked to me about it. You had me worried, little witch… »_

_Wanda bit her lip._

_« I am sorry, I just thought… In which world would you ever love me? »_

_« This one, you idiot »_

_And then Carol’s lips were on hers and it was as if the previous weeks didn’t matter. Everything felt so light and sunny. Her chest was free again, she could breathe, she could taste Carol. It was a simple chaste kiss, but Wanda saw heaven at that time._

_And when Carol took her to eat that night, she swore she had never tasted a better hamburger._

***

She keeps coming. Weeks after weeks. To be honest, she barely leaves the room. Just to go to the toilet and change her clothes. She keeps talking to Carol too. Keeps telling her about the weather, about the Avengers, about everything. She tells her stories about a mystic sorcerer and a hidden world, about soulmates and vampires. They even brought another bed in the room to allow her to sleep properly while holding Carol’s hand. That she never let go too. 

She remembers once when Carol told her not to cry for her. So she doesn’t cry when the doctors tell her they have to stop everything, that it’s over. She doesn’t cry when they take carol away. She doesn’t cry at her funeral, even when her eyes meet Natasha’s wet ones. 

Because Carol was her soul. 

Now she is gone.

And Wanda is gone with her too. 


	2. CarolNat - A new beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: slight homophobia  
> Requested by @natdanvrs on Instagram :)

« Come on Tasha, we’re gonna be late! »

« One second, I can’t put on my shoe! » 

Carol looks at her watch. Sure they are gonna be late now.

« Tashaaaaaaa! We’re gonna get caught if you go on! »

« I am here, I am here! »

Sure enough, one second later, a little breathless Natasha Romanoff appears at the door and every admonition she prepared gets lost in the sight in front of her. Natasha is wearing a tight dark blue dress that shows way to much cleavage for Carol’s health. The blonde feels her breath shaking and she can’t look away, trying to memorize every curve of her body. 

« Carol? Carol! »

« Huh? »

She is brought back to reality by Natasha who looks at her with worried eyes. 

« Are you okay? »

« Ehhh, yes. Yes I’m okay. Just… You’re beautiful »

Natasha blushes and bites her lip. She sees Nat's pupils dilate and she is sure her eyes are just the same. 

« You’re not bad either… hot shot » the redhead replies. 

Carol, not being the dress type, is wearing a white suit with matching heels and a light makeup (just some gloss and mascara). Quite simple if you ask her, the most beautiful human being on this planet if you ask Natasha. Carol is (internally, not that she would admit it out loud) proud of how their outfit match perfectly. It makes her feel possessive, feels jealous of anyone who would lay his or her eyes on her girlfriend. 

Natasha gets closer and wraps her arms around Carol’s waist before pressing her plum lips against her lover’s. Carol smiles in the kiss, grabbing Nat’s neck to pull her closer. She takes advantage of Natasha's sigh to slip her tongue between her lips and deepens the kiss. Natasha groans and it takes all her might to pull away. 

« I thought we were late… » she presses her forehead against Carol’s. 

« I couldn’t careless right now… I am happy. You make me happy. »

« You make me happy too, Carol Danvers… »

They stay here, standing in the living room, enjoying each other. 

« Your luggage is ready, honey? » Carol asks after a few minutes. 

« Yes! I am all set. I just need to put it in the car. »

Carol feels excitement rushing through her veins. Because tonight is the night their new life begins. After months of planning and money saving, they are finally ready to run away. Run away from hell to build their own paradise. 

For months now, they have bee hiding from the world, especially their parents. Carol’s father had made it very that « no dyke would ever live under his roof » and Natasha being Russian, gay people weren’t exactly accepted in her house either. So they both buried their relationship and feelings deep inside themselves, stealing moments at school or using sleepovers as an excuse to see each other. 

« Let’s get this done and let’s go then. »

Natasha nods and goes back upstairs to grab her suitcases. Five minutes later, she is comfortably sitting in the passenger seat, listening to music while Carol drives them both to the graduation party. Nat looks at her carefully, a sudden feeling of love invading her chest. She too can’t wait to start a new life, a promise of a bright future with the woman she loves.

***

So far, the party was going pretty great but Natasha couldn’t shake the impatience out of her. It is nice to hang out a bit with all her friends but she just wanted to leave the house, leave the town and never come back. Apparently, Carol has the same feeling because it’s not even 10 pm when she pulls Natasha by the elbow and leads her outside, meeting no resistance from the redhead. 

Natasha frowns when she looks at Carol and sees concern all over her face. The blonde doesn’t say anything, just nods her head to urge her to sit inside the car. Trusting her completely, Natasha gets in and Carol immediately starts the car, crushing the gas pedal. 

« Carol, » Natasha speaks after a few minutes « please what’s going on? »

Carol’s features are hard and she tightens her grip on the wheel. 

« Someone sold us out. » she hisses 

« Sold us out?! »

A nod. 

« Your parents and mine were coming over. Steve warned me. I don’t think they noticed us slipping out. But just to be sure, we have to change the itinerary. »

« Who sold us out? » she asks coldly. 

« I think you already know the answer honey… »

« Brock, » she says bitterly « I am gonna kill him and bury him under a- »

« As sweet as it sounds to me, baby, I won’t let you turn into an assassin because of some jackass, even the most annoying one. »

« But babe, he DOES deserve it! » 

Carol can’t but smile at Natasha’s cute little pout. 

« Yes he does honey. I love it when you play hardass. »

« HEY! For one, I am always a hardass. For two, you only you bring out my soft side. For three, fuck Brock, fuck the world, fuck my parents and yours, fuck school, fuck this damn town! »

It makes Carol laugh. « Fuck the world! » she repeats screaming. 

Natasha widens her eyes. It’s the first time she hears Carol swearing, the latter having a huge thing against it, wherever it comes from. They look at each other for one second and it’s all it takes for them to start screaming again. 

« FUCK THE WORLLLLLLLD! » 

They burst out laughing and Natasha feels her shoulders relaxing, all weight gone.

It takes them three hours to finally feel far and safe enough to stop in a hotel. It’s not fancy, but the rooms are clean and they really really don’t mind sharing the only small bed they have left. They don’t even bring all the suitcase, one will do for the night as they will leave again tomorrow morning. 

Sitting on the bed, Carol looks at Natasha as she undresses herself to step into her pj’s. She loves the way Nat’s hips sway when she walks, or the way her hair floats behind her. She looks like an angel, beautiful and rocking Carol’s world like nobody has before.

Feeling Carol’s eyes on her, Natasha turns around and smirks. She walks slowly toward her girlfriend, a mischievous grin tugging her lips. With one knee, she pulls Carol’s thighs apart and kneels between them. Carol lets her do so, completely frozen. It’s crazy the effect she has on her. She looks at Natasha as she caresses her tights, brings her hands up her sides, tugging at her suit and starts undressing her. Soon, she lays only wearing panties on the bed, Natasha topping her. Nat’s mouth is on hers, then on her neck, everywhere. It’s overwhelming yet not enough. More. She needs so much more, needs everything Natasha can offer. 

« Nat… » a whimper escapes her lips as Natasha takes one of her harden nipple in her mouth. 

« Shhhhhh… » the Russian smoothes her « just relax and enjoy my love »

Carol closes her eyes and lets Natasha taking control completely. A few kisses on her neck, a few touches and she is a whining mess, squirming under Nat. The redhead lips burn when they leave delicate kisses on their way to her core. They can’t go fast enough and Carol is begging, begging, for her to go faster, to just take her. 

Natasha can’t deny anything Carol ask for. So without more teasing, she presses her mouth against Carol’s clit, earning a loud moan from the other woman. Music to her ears, she decides as she starts lapping hungrily at it. She takes her time, devouring her, tasting her. Carol’s hips buck on their own and Natasha has to circle her arms around her thighs and grips on her hips to maintain her down. 

« Nat-Tasha- Close-! » she breathes out. 

« Come my love… come for me Carol » she whispers before pressing hard against her one last time. 

And just like that, Carol comes with a loud scream, Natasha’s name on her lips. Natasha helps her riding her orgasm out, kissing her pelvis before going up and hugging her tight. Carol shivers and hugs her back. 

« Your turn baby… » she mumbles, half asleep. 

Natasha giggles. She doesn’t answer, simply strokes Carol’s hair and pulls the covers over them both. 

« Sleep baby girl… We have all the time in the world for you to return the favor. »

Silence settles once again. 

« Tasha…? » she hears Carol whisper again.

« Yes, baby? »

« … Marry me »

Natasha freezes. Tears make her way to her eyes and she concentrates to keep breathing normally.   
« …Tash…? » a little panicked voice escapes Carol. 

Nat hugs her even tighter. 

« Yes. Yes of course my love. Yes I wanna marry you »

Carol lets out a happy sob. 

« I am sorry, I know it wasn’t romantic or anything. I don’t even have a ring, I just- I want to be yours forever. »

« It’s perfect Carol » she takes Carol’s face between her hands, watery smile on her face. « It’s perfect- you’re perfect my love. And I can’t wait to be with you every step of the way. »

The kiss they share then easy makes its way to the top ten of their best kisses. They settle once again, Natasha being the big spoon. 

« Just to be clear, » Carol whispers « we are totally being the Romanoff-Danvers »

« I wouldn’t dream it any other way baby » Natasha answers, kissing the back of her neck. 

And it’s true. She wouldn’t. 

They both felt asleep that night, dreaming about a new future, a new hope… A new beginning.


	3. ScarletWidow - Coming back straight to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: suicidal thoughts and bad caring

« Wanda please, come out… » 

« Go away Clint! » a muffled response comes from the other side of the door. 

Clint sighs. He didn’t expect anything else but it is still raging. It’s been three months already, three months since Natasha died, since she jumped off that damn cliff, since she left them, left him, left Wanda. And it shows no sign of improvement. Not that he blames Wanda, each time he thinks about Natasha, his chest is ripped in two. He lost his best friend but Wanda lost a lot more. She lost her confidant, her lover, her girlfriend, her better half, her soul. She lost the only person she dared to get attached to after losing Pietro. 

The first night after defeating Thanos, Cling brought Wanda to the farm, hoping that the children and the familiar environment would bring a sense of comfort. But he found her crying in the middle of the night, clinging desperately on her left earring, the special one Nat got her on their first anniversary. The earring is actually a tracker and a communication device. To contact Natasha, she has to pinch it twice and it immediately alerts Natasha, who was wearing the exact same one. Wanda was tugging on it so hard she actually made herself bleed and Clint decided to simply confiscate it. She fought him for this before breaking down and locked herself in her room. 

In three months, he has seen Wanda lose weight, he has seen her cry, all life gone from her eyes. She only comes out of her room when Morgan visits (she can’t deny the little girl anything although she broke down again when Morgan asked her if she was Auntie Nat’s Wanda). The rest of her time, she spends it starring at the ceiling, too tired to cry, too afraid to sleep. She knows that if she closes her eyes, Natasha will haunt her dreams and she isn’t ready to see her again and wake up to an empty, cold bed. So she stays awake, only sleeping when she faints. Concerning food, it isn’t better. Nothing has taste, water burns her throat. She started skipping breakfast, then lunch. Eating takes too much energy anyway. 

And now even Pietro wouldn’t recognize her. Her dark circles are getting longer every day under her eyes. She doesn’t fit in any of her clothes, all too big. For it matters, she stays all day long wearing Natasha’s clothes, her hoodies to be precise. Her bones stand out, protruding, painful against her skin, and her muscles protest with every movement. So she stays in bed, where she can let herself mourn, where she can stay trapped in her head as long as she wants. 

« Wanda, please, she wouldn’t want- » Clint tries again.

« SHE ISN’T HERE! STOP TALKING FOR HER, SHE IS DEAD! » Wanda explodes.

« It can’t go on Wanda. You’re going to die if you don’t act! »

« Great! The sooner it happens, the sooner I can see her again. I am looking forward to it. »

« Have you thought about Morgan? She already lost her father and her aunt. Are you going to let her mourn you too? »

Clint knows it’s a low blow, but he is desperate too at this point and doesn’t care about not playing fair if it means he can have an impact on the young woman. He hears her gasping on the other side and he gets ready for what’s coming. Two seconds later, the door is slammed open and a furious Wanda throws herself at him and hits him in the jaw. It’s too weak to really hurt and if he really wanted to, Clint could have blocked it easily. But he lets Wanda punch him over and over again, letting her anger out. 

« HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU CLINT? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THIS, NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HER, NO RIGHT TO USE MORGAN AS A TRIGGER! » 

She is still punching his chest but it’s weaker now, her body shaking with tears and when Clint grabs her wrists (his heart breaks when he feels more her bones than everything else), she doesn’t try to pull away. On the contrary, she crawls against his chest and he doesn’t wait a second before pulling her into a tight embrace. They slip to the floor, the young woman curling up in Clint’s arms. They stay here until Wanda’s sobs fade away, until she falls in a deep restless sleep. Still stroking her hair, Clint picks her up and lays her on her bed before pulling the covers over her fragile body. If only he could make her happy again. He would do anything just to see her smile again. She has become family over the years since Ultron and her entry into the team. She was so happy before everything, before Thanos... Being with Natasha had brought a smile back on her face even after Pietro’s death and now, after being « dead » for five years, she can’t even have her happy ending. Everyone has their family back, but Wanda, Wanda is the one losing in the end. 

And Clint really thinks it’s the most unfair thing the universe has ever planned.

***

_Vormir, 2014_

Confusion. 

That’s the first thought hitting her when she opens her eyes and stares at the purple sky. Slowly, she sits up and looks around. How is she alive? She remembers clearly fighting with Clint, falling, thinking about her precious Wanda who would soon be back alive. And then nothing. Just darkness, and peace like she had never felt it before. 

But now she is breathing. Now she is back on that damn planet and she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t even have a single injury. Does it mean they failed? God please anything but this. She’d rather jump again than face a world where Wanda isn’t back. 

« Natalia Romanova » 

The Red face again. 

« How... » she shakes her head « why am I here? » 

« The stone has been given back. A soul for a soul. » 

She knows she won’t get more explanation but it’s okay, she understands now. 

« How long has it been? »

« Three months »

Three months. Three months since she died. 

« Did it work? » that’s all she needs to know, all she wants to know. 

« That’s Not my question to answer. » he replies, handing her a vial which contains Pym particles « people are waiting for you »

She nods once. The sooner she gets back, the sooner she knows. Only one button pressed and she is gone, hopefully never getting back again. 

***

_New-York, 2021_

When she takes her helmet off, she immediately knows it must have been a hell of a battle. 

_Wanda._

Everything is destroyed, the compound burnt to ashes. 

_Wanda._

Please god, please she is alive, she has to be alive. With shaking hands, she grabs her phone and dials Wanda’s number. Straight to voicemail. 

_No. Wanda._

Natasha feels her heartbeat increasing by the second. She freezes. If she doesn’t answer, it means... it means... no. 

_Wanda._

Coming back to her senses, she dials Clint’s number. She presses her phone hard against her ear, praying to hear someone, something, praying- 

« Hello? »

She stops breathing. Clint sounds tired and sad but exactly like Clint and it’s so good, _so good_ to hear his voice. 

« Clint... » she whispers.

Deaf silence on the other side.

« Natasha...??? »

She lets out a loud sob. 

« Yes! » she nearly screams. 

The rest is all blurry. All she knows is that yes Wanda is alive but barely living. Nat’s heart breaks when Clint describes her physical and mental state and they are still on the phone when she steals a car and gets on her way to the farm. The road seems infinite and she has to restrain herself not to go faster than 50 miles per hour above the legal limit. In only one and half hours ( instead of two and a half tho it might be only two according to Natasha), she is there and it is nice to look at the comforting sight of the wooden door. She stands in front of it and is about to knock when she is pulled abruptly inside and finds herself looking straight at Clint's eyes. 

_Wanda._

She looks at him, a silent question in the eyes. He cracks a watery smile before pointing at the ceiling. Understood. Questions and hugs will have to wait. Something else can’t.

_Wanda._

She runs upstairs and stops in front of what was her room. Their room now. 

_Wanda._

She opens the door and steps inside. 

There she is. Sleeping on her - _no their_ \- bed. Nat’s heart beats incredibly fast as she tries not to wake her love. She takes every second to look at her, and craves, craves, _craves_ to touch, to hug her like there’s no tomorrow. She can see already how bad it has been for her little witch, how skinny she is, how restless she is. 

But it doesn’t matter. No, it doesn’t matter anymore because she is here now. She is here, alive and she is going to take such great care of Wanda, she swears it. She walks to the right side of the bed and kneels in front of it, facing Wanda’s sleeping face. Agonizingly slowly, she brings a hand up and runs a hand through Wanda’s locks. She looks at Wanda’s rising and falling chest and god helps if it isn’t the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Because it means Wanda’s alive too, that they are both alive in a world that tried everything to separate them. 

Wanda stirs and opens slightly her eyes. They are unfocused but they do not leave Nat’s face once they have caught her form. 

« Tasha…? » she asks with a raspy voice « iz dat you? Am I finally dead? » 

Nat laughs quietly at how cute she is. 

« No, malyska… You’re alive. We are both. »

Wanda sits up suddenly, very much awake now. She stares at Nat, only blinking. 

« Wanda? Wanda I need you to breathe, malyska. »

« No- You- Real?- Dream- » she chokes out. 

« Wanda, Wanda please honey » Natasha takes Wanda’s face in her hands « In and out, I need you to breathe. That’s it, that’s my good girl… » she praises. 

Incomprehension still runs behind the witch’s eyes. So Natasha does the only thing that crosses her mind. She leans forward and kisses Wanda. 

_I am here._

_You’re safe._

_I am back with you._

_You’re not alone._

So many things she wants to say and yet no word to express it. So she just kisses her. Soon, Wanda’s shaking palm grabs her by the neck and pulls her closer. Natasha tastes something salty but she isn’t sure about who is crying. Probably both of them. They only part when they need to breathe and Wanda takes this opportunity to climb on Natasha’s lap and cling onto her so tight it actually hurts. But Natasha doesn’t say anything, no, she just lets her bury her face in her neck (Wanda’s favorite place in the universe) and hugs her while rubbing her girlfriend’s back, whispering sweet reassurance in her ear. _Yes, this is real. Yes, she is alive and breathing and no, she swears over Morgan’s life than it’s not a trick._

« I missed you so much... » a timid voice whispers against her collarbone. 

« I am sorry... I am so sorry Wanda. I had to- it made no sense, living in a world without you. I didn’t live for five years but barely survived. Your scent, your form, your clothes- you were everywhere. And everywhere it reminded me how I failed the world, how I failed you. I couldn’t even protect the only thing I can’t breathe without. So when this opportunity came, I took it. I wanted you to see the sun again, I wanted you to walk again. I would have done anything for this. I am sorry » she repeats. 

Wanda doesn’t answer, just nods and it makes Natasha love her even more than she already does because she has put Wanda under pain over and over again and yet she just takes her excuses and nods and agrees. She accepts her back without hesitation and she doesn’t deserve this. But she decides she doesn’t care about it anymore because if Wanda thinks she deserves this, then hell her mind, it’ll do. 

She notices Wanda’s body going limp after half an hour of cuddling and kissing and listening to her heartbeat (because yes Wanda is so sleep-deprived that she believes Nat is one of her mind’s trick. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time it happens). 

« Hey moya luvboy... are you falling asleep on me? » she says giggling. 

Only a soft snore answers her but it makes Natasha ridiculously happy, knowing that Wanda finally gets some well-deserved rest. She struggles a bit to lay properly on the bed with Wanda laying ofinally, Wanda got her happy ending. 

And if they got married only two weeks after Natasha’s reappearance, well that’s their story to tell, not mine. 


	4. BlackHill - Let me protect you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None

_Hurry. You have to hurry._

Bag. Weapons. A few shirts and a suit. Just what she needs, nothing more.

_Come on, why are you so slow?_

She rushes to the bathroom, consciously avoids looking at the second toothbrush when she grabs hers and runs back to the living room. 

_Protect. That’s why you run. To protect._

The sooner she is out of here, the sooner Maria will be safe. 

***

Natalia Romanova never possessed a lot of things. To be honest, she owned nothing at all, not even herself. No, she belonged to the Red Room, to Madam B and her handlers. That’s what made her so efficient: she always ran into the battle like she had nothing to lose because she did. 

Of course, when especially hard missions were accomplished, she was rewarded. Sometimes it was a week without any punishment, no matter how hard she screwed. Or she remembers finding a little basket of strawberries on her bed (it was the first time she ate strawberries and she can still feel the sweet taste on her tongue, or the freshness of the juices going down her throat). All the other girls looked at her with envy and jealousy, even pleaded to have some but Natasha knew better. Rewards were exclusive. Any sharing would end in beating for both of the girls, and her reward would have been lost in vain. 

Anyway, even her rewards weren’t long-lasting objects. The Red Room made it clear she would never possess anything and they followed that rule very strictly. 

One day, one of her comrades was found with a watch, just a small gold watch she had found on a mission two weeks earlier. Madam B had made every girl come and sit on the floor, back straight and legs crossed. They had brought the girl with a beaten face, made her sit on a chair in front of everyone and tied her. She had to remain silent as one of her trainers melted the watch and poured the burning gold over her shoulders, right onto her skin. At one point, she broke down and screamed so hard she broke her vocal cords. Madam B simply took her gun and buried a bullet in her head. Natasha tried her best to stay stoic, but she knew she would never be able to forget her pleading cries. « That’s one lesson taught, » Madam B said, « you need to remember who you belong to and what are the consequences of disobedience. »

Natalia threw the little button she had found too right away. 

***

Agent Romanoff is way luckier than Natalia Romanova. First of all, SHIELD gives her a job, a real job, one she hopes will help clean her ledger. They give her a weapon, hers and hers only. They offer her a room to crash into, with a fridge and even a small bottle of her favorite vodka one she is cleared of deprogramming (she never knew how they knew her favorite brand but she suspects Maria for that one, the brunette being quite aware about the best alcohol in Earth). For the first time, she possesses things that won’t be taken from her, or at least she wants to believe it. 

Even if she isn’t accepted right away, Agent Romanoff is happy with her new life. She goes on missions, always completing them as efficiently as she did for the Red Room. They aren’t always easy, she almost doesn’t make it a few times, but she still loves her job. The fighting is good, and she can pay her debt slowly. 

Step by step, she opens up to other people and even earns herself a partner. Being teamed up with Agent Barton has its ups and downs (at first she really couldn’t stand his particular sense of humor) but when he saves her life once more and when she hears his joke when he wakes up from his coma, she almost hugs him. 

So yes Agent Romanoff possesses a lot more things than Natalia. And she thought it would be enough. 

That’s when she meets Commander Hill. 

***

At first, their relationship was as professional as it could be. Maria was her handler and she was an agent. It was odd for a so young agent to be handled by no other than the second in command but considering her skills, only the best agent SHIELD has ever known could be able to work well with Agent Romanoff. 

Commander Hill, she soon learned, wasn’t the second in command for nothing. She worked harder than anyone, ordering and handling things the best way they could be. She was organized and every mission was precisely detailed before sending her agents out in the field. Even her plans b have plan B so she knows they will get out alive, maybe beaten and bruised, but alive. It was new for Agent Romanoff, that feeling of security. She felt - still feels - safe with Maria, something she never had before. The Red room often let her handling herself, as a constant test to see if she was able to do it if she was able to accomplish missions relying on her brain and her muscles. It was exhausting. 

With Maria, on the contrary, everything seemed… nearly too easy. Yes, she still had to fight and earned more wounds but she still just had to follow orders which were far easier and enjoyable than she would admit. Slowly, she started paying attention to the little details. What Commander Hill wore every day (always the same suit, perfectly showing her curve without showing too much and suiting her commander demeanor), what she liked to eat (Agent Romanoff didn’t know someone could go down that much of coffee in one day), her behavior. People called her « the ice queen » or « hardass Hill » but Agent Romanoff knew better. Because whatever Commander Hill wanted people to believe, Agent Romanoff had learned to read people through their eyes and the brunette’s ones were screaming pain and loneliness. She didn’t know much about her past, only what everyone knew: she was an ex-military, chosen by Fury himself to be his second. Of course, there were rumors about her, completely ridiculous ones it had made the redhead laugh pretty hard when she heard them. None of them was true, people just had to look at the Commander a little bit to realize that. But whatever had happened to Hill had marked her profoundly, and Agent Romanoff started to find a little bit of herself in the woman. 

So she got closer to the Commander, brought her coffee like she liked, keeping her company when she stayed late at work (nobody should be allowed to work after 2 in the morning according to the redhead). She saw Hill’s slow change of behavior. She seemed more relaxed, even smiled a bit when Agent Romanoff shared the memory about making cookies with Agent Barton a few days back. It felt good, to see her smile. It spread heat in her chest. 

It went on for months. 

And it was getting on Agent Romanoff’s nerves. 

She had thought about asking the Commander out but she wasn’t even sure about her sexual preferences. Instead, she turned into a blushing mess each time they spoke, much to Clint’s delight who spent hours teasing her about it. 

« Why don’t you just ask her? » Clint observed one day

« And be rejected? Thanks but no, thanks » she replied « I’d rather spend my life fantasying about her » 

« First, you don’t know about the rejection part. And I am just saying that you should hurry before someone else makes a move. I heard that Daisy from the reception was interested in her » he told her. 

Agent Romanoff froze. If there was one thing that would be worse than being rejected, it would be to see her happy with someone else, someone not her. She pictured Hill laughing with someone else, sharing her evenings with someone else and she decided on the spot it would be too much t bear.

The same day, she had burst into her handler’s office and asked her out the second she was close enough.

« Gooutwithme » 

« Sorry, Agent Romanoff? » Hill replied, one eyebrow raised, lifting her head from her computer. 

The redhead cleared her throat and repeated slower.

« Hill, would you go? On a date. With me. » she looked into the brunette’s eyes. 

First, Hill said nothing, only stared at her and as Romanoff started feeling nervous, she smiled (god helped the agent’s heart). 

« It’s Maria,» she said softly « and I would love to, Natasha »

***

Natasha possesses even more than Agent Romanoff did. She still has what Agent Romanoff had, only now she has more. She has friends, a group, a family. Hell, she even has a girlfriend, no, a fiancée. It was Maria who proposed after a particularly bad mission. Natasha nearly died that day and it was Maria’s breaking point. As soon as Natasha opened her eyes, she asked her, earning an unfocused smile from her lover but a real, sincere yes. They kissed and later went out to find matching rings that are now on their fingers. 

She also has a home. A small house they bought together one year after they started dating. Maria decorated it, along with Natasha of course but she planned everything and Natasha just looked at her in awe. 

She builds a life in Maria’s arms. But now this life is turning to dust. First, their mission in Lagos is a disaster. She looks at her family being torn apart, and before she knows, they are fighting in an airport and Tony tells her to be careful because they are coming for her. 

Yes, she builds a life in Maria’s arms. And now it’s gone. 

***

« You were going to tell me, of course. »

There it is, the damn beautiful, lovely voice Natasha has feared to hear all day. It makes her freeze, a shirt in her hand. 

« How do you- »

« Tony. He told me what he told you. »

Natasha presses her lips in a thin line. 

« I could answer your question, » she replies quietly « but I think you already know the answer or not going to like it. Or both. » 

She hears a scoff behind her. So both it is. Of course, Maria is way too clever and if she is here, reaching Natasha before she can run away, it’s because she knows. 

« I can’t stay and you know it. »

« It doesn’t mean you have to run away without a goodbye. You are many things, Natasha Romanoff, I never thought coward would be part of the list tho. »

Natasha closes her eyes. Maria’s words cut her chest and heart, leaving a sick feeling in her stomach. She doesn’t hold it against the brunette, she is aware of how hurt she must be because if it hurts herself so much, she can’t imagine how hard it must be for Maria, but God it hurts. 

« Masha... »

« Don’t Masha me. You know where to find me, hell Natasha, when was I supposed to hear from you in your plan? In three months?! »

« I need to protect you, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?? » Natasha explodes and turns to face the woman she loves. 

It’s Maria’s turn to freeze. Natasha bites her lip and looks down. 

« I am sorry Maria... I just- » she closes her eyes and breathes deeply before looking up into the ocean-blue eyes. « If something happens to you, I’ll never be able to look up at myself again. Maria, you have my entire soul a-and if they hurt you be-because of me... » she is breathing heavily, already imagining to scene where she has to see Maria lying pale on a bed. 

« Shhhhh... Tasha. » Maria cups her cheek, getting closer. 

Natasha sobs loudly, letting go of her mask. She places a hand over Maria’s and turns her head to kiss her palm. Maria cups her other cheek and wipes some tears with her thumb. 

« When I accepted this, accepted us being together, I knew the risks, Natasha. I accepted because I knew you would be the only one able to protect me against danger. But if there’s something I can’t stand, it’s you lying to me. If you jump, I jump too. I don’t care about leaving everything here. You matter only. » she adds, kissing Natasha’s nose softly. 

The latter blushes. « Are you saying- » she starts.

« Yes. If you let me? Please... Natalia was alone, let Natasha have someone. Let me be your anchor, let me be with you. » 

Natasha tears up and throws her into Maria’s arms, who hugs her immediately. 

« I am so scared Masha... » she whispers « I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you, Masha! » 

« You won’t lose me Tasha, and you know why? Because you are here. And that enough makes me feel safer than SHIELD ever did. »

She kisses Natasha’s cheeks, drinking her tears. 

« I’ll follow you until the end of the world, Tasha. You protected me so well, now please let me protect you too. »

Natasha grabs her by the neck and pulls her in a kiss she hopes to convey everything she feels for Maria. Maria kisses her back, her lips so soft Natasha melts instantly. When she pulls away, she stares at the blue eyes in front of her. And she nods, slowly first and then eagerly. 

« Please, please Masha I need you. Come with me. » 

« I wouldn’t dream it any other way » Maria whispers before kissing her again. 

And then Natasha thinks that maybe, running away won’t feel so hard again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BlackHill has me on my knees and I enjoy way too much writing about them <3


	5. ScarletWidow - Worth it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: depression and anorexia are the center of this chapter so don't read if you don't like these topics!  
> Requested by @maxxaaronn here, i hope it turned out okay for you!  
> "wanda and natasha, both angst and fluff. wanda suffers with depression/suicidal thoughts and tries to lose weight, until natasha has to stop her.  
> you just write angst so well and aaa i love all your works!"  
> It was really hard to write as i myself am struggling against depression everyday so i hope it turned out okay anyway!

As far as Wanda recalls, the voices have always been there. They aren’t always loud, but they always tickle the back of her mind. 

It worsened when she acquired her powers. After that, she could not only hear her voices but also people’s ones. And it was breaking her, slowly but surely.

***

Entering Natasha’s mind was a new experience. But not an exciting one, rather one you wish you only live once in your life. Of course, she had already entered criminals’ minds before, but nothing she couldn’t handle. 

The second she broke Nat’s barriers however, her mind screamed louder than it had ever done. Blood, Blood everywhere and cries of a child. She was in a cell getting beaten and the second after she was trembling in front of the bloody body of her comrade, a red knife in hand. She was tied to a chair, electricity running through her body, screaming against her gag and the second after she was laying on a table, tied again, while a doctor was violently inserting something between her legs. She thought she knew what hell looked like, but she was wrong. Natasha did. And entering her mind, seeing everything made Wanda feel even dirtier than she had ever felt, wronger. She knew she would never be the same again.

_Look at what you have done. Another person is broken by your fault._

When Ultron’s gone, she apologizes over and over again to Natasha, who simply tells her that it’s okay, that she didn’t know what she was doing. _She tells her that it’s okay._

But it’s not okay, not okay at all. She saw the pain in Natasha’s eyes, violated her private space deeply, reactivated dark, bad memories she took years to bury deep in her mind. Nat should hate Wanda. She should hit her with all her rage, she should shoot her twice in the head, she should refuse her in the team. But no. She takes Wanda’s apologizes and within a snap of fingers, it’s forgotten. _She tells her it’s nothing._

It makes Wanda hates herself even more.

***

_Fear. Monster. You shouldn’t be alive._

After Sokovia, the voices are very loud. Pietro’s loss and her culpability seem to make everything 100 times more horrible. People in the streets avoid her, crossing the road when they see her coming, or looking at her like she is some mistake in the universe. 

_They hate you. You shouldn’t have been born._

Wanda sighs. She lowers her eyes to the ground and goes on walking, trying to build a mental wall to stop the voices. A brilliant failure. 

_Freak. You should have died._

They are right, she thinks. All these voices. « Only the truth hurts » so if Wanda is so hurt by their words, it is because it is true. She is absolutely convinced about it. She walks in the streets, trying to make herself as small as possible. Something hits her in the head, probably a bottle but she doesn’t stop to look at it. It wouldn’t be the first time it happens and she is too afraid by her own strength to even think about fighting back. No, she goes on walking, only letting the sob building in her throat out once she has reached the secure walls of the tower and her room. 

***

It gets a little better when she starts training. Oh yes, the voices are still here but being in the team, going on missions and finally, _finally_ doing some good allows her to push them away again. She even feels proud of herself when Steve highs five her after a difficult mission in Africa and tells her that without her, they wouldn’t have succeeded. That day is one of the best Wanda has ever lived. 

With her new special routine, she is stronger. She can build a mental wall to block the voices (not her own but it’s better than nothing) and people stop crossing the street when she is wandering in the city. A little girl even hugs her and thanks to her because she saved her father during a job and Wanda cries when she holds her. 

There’s also something new hitting her chest. It’s not bad, but Wanda isn’t sure it is completely good either. It’s… weird to be honest. Any time she looks at Natasha, her stomach flips and her heart goes down her throat. She can’t stop herself from staring at the redhead, tracing her curves and staying a little bit too long on her ass. She nearly falls on her knees when she enters the training room and sees Natasha punching, wearing just a tank top and a pair of leggings. Natasha makes her weak in the knees and makes her heart beat faster and it perplexes her. 

She finds herself staying longer at night when the redhead is around. Usually, she makes up an excuse to retreat to her room before diner and skip the meal ( _Fat. Nobody will want you if you go on eating_ the voices tell her) but when Natasha is around, being sited at the table becomes bearable and she even appreciates the way Steve cooks. He asks her to help him one night and she ends up teaching him how to do latkes like her mother used to. It’s a complete success and soon they ask her to cook more. So she teaches them more. 

Wanda isn’t a fool. She knows she is being 100% obvious when she stares at Natasha so Natasha being herself, there’s no way she hasn’t noticed her yet. However, the ex-assassin doesn’t give a clue about if she knows what’s going on. Worse, Wanda catches her staring at her more than once, making her blush each time while Natasha smirks. Yet, she can’t but be sad about it. She knows Natasha loves to fool around, and surely if she loved her, she would already have made a move, wouldn’t she? Feeling tear threatening to escape, she runs out to her room and buries herself under her covers for the rest of the day. 

One night yet, everything changes. The team except for both of them is gone and a storm is raging outside. She is alone in her bed, the room silent except for the wind and the rain crossing against the windows. As a little girl, Wanda would run to her parents' bed and sleep between the two of them, safe. When they died, Pietro did the same, holding her during hard nights but he is gone too and she is alone again to struggle with her fear. 

Sighing once more, she kicks her covers off her head, grabs her warmest hoodie and heads toward the kitchen. Maybe hot cocoa will smooth her and help her sleep. She has to sleep before the voices wake up or else it will be yet another sleepless night sadly lost. 

She is halfway through her drink when she heard steps behind her. She calls her powers on as a reflex before freezing when she recognizes the perfume. 

_Natasha._

Of course, it can only be her, they are alone here. Wanda groans internally at her dumbness. 

« Having trouble sleeping? » Natasha asks behind her. 

Her voice is low but Wanda hears her very well so she must be very close. Wanda’s heart goes faster and she places a hand on her chest. She breathes and nods when loud lightning hits the sky and makes her jump. A whimper escapes her mouth and she freezes, shutting her eyes closed. 

She doesn’t know how much time she stays like this. All she knows is that strong arms are suddenly around her, picking her up with ease and she is pressed against Natasha’s front. The older woman runs a soft hand in her hair, whispering sweet reassurances in her ear and Wanda feels good, so good and warm here she almost succumbs right here and tells Natasha everything she feels. But she doesn’t and effete a few minutes, Natasha pulls away. 

« Better ? » she asks softly. 

_No,_ Wanda thinks, _don’t let go. Hold me forever, whisper more in my ear, hold me so tight I melt in your chest and never go out again._ But she doesn’t want to be a burden to Natasha, not after everything. So she nods weakly and stands up, going back to her mug with a blank look on her face. She can feel Natasha’s eyes on her, observing and her cheeks are warm again. Two more minutes pass before Natasha leaves without a sound. 

_Of course, she is leaving, why would she stay? She doesn’t love you, she will never love you. You broke her. You’re no good, an ugly failure, not even good for the worst person on Earth. Look at you. Who would want you? You wouldn’t even date yourself if you could._

A tear escapes her, then another, and more after that. Soon, she is crying quietly, hands holding her mug so tightly they are turning white. She stands still, shaking in the middle of the kitchen, wincing each time a lightning strikes, tear rolling down her cheeks, unstoppable. She cries over her parents, however, her brother, over her lost love, over the life she could never have. She cries until there’s nothing left other than the salty taste at the back of her mouth. 

« Wanda? Are you okay? I heard noises. » Nat’s soft voice resonates in the space. 

_No. This is so wrong. She can’t see you like this, not when you look so awful and disgusting. She will never love you that way, she already doesn’t._

Wanda quickly wipes her tears with the back of her hand before replying with a voice she hopes doesn’t give her away. 

« I am fine. It was probably the rain. » 

It’s a lame excuse, she knows it, but she doesn’t have time to think about anything else. She focuses on her drink, hoping that Natasha will buy it and leave. 

_Yes, she will leave. You hurt her. Who would want to stay with you?_

« Shut up » she mumbles to herself « shut up shut up SHUT UP! » she screams holding her head. 

« Wanda! » 

Two warm hands cover hers. She doesn’t know where she is, doesn’t know what time it is. The hands are warm and so so soft when they pull her toward the couch. In a matter of seconds, she is on Nat’s lap again, breathing with difficulty against her skin. 

Being so close to Natasha is intoxicating. Her scent, her warmth, everything about her drags Wanda closer to the older woman. Hands. Hands are in her hair and rubbing her back again and tears she didn’t know she still had left her eyes like a river. 

Hands are on her cheeks, wiping the tear with thumbs. Warm, reassuring green orbs stare at eyes, conveying comfort. She tries to breathe, to be strong for Natasha. She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve a useless burden like her in her life. She is nice enough to help her, so Wanda won’t keep her awake more than she should. She tries to pull away, only to meet strong resistance. Natasha holds her tight, forcing her to look at her. It’s hard to breathe again with Natasha so close and it’s so wrong wrong wrong when sinful thoughts cross her mind. 

« Wanda please talk to me. » 

A pleading, soft sweet pleading. It makes Wanda’s heat ache again. How could she explain? How could she show her how wrong and disgusting she is, how she deserves to die, how they should fire her and give her to hydra again? How could she show her that she should run away when all she craves is to behold forever by the redhead? 

« Wanda Please... please honey breathe with me. In and out yes that’s it, slowly. What’s wrong? Do you need anything? Please you’re killing me here... » 

Taking deep breaths, Wanda tries to focus on her voice. That’s what’s keeping her on Earth at the moment. 

« Why... why are you doing this? Why are you helping me…? You should hate me, you should be furious... why? Why are you doing this? » she asks, her voice a whisper 

For a second, uncertainty dances in the redhead’s eyes but soon it is replaced by determination. Time slows down as Natasha leans in and places a soft and sweet kiss on Wanda’s lips. It’s a huge cliché, very movi-esque but Wanda swears to God fireworks have been turned on in her belly. Everything dances in her mind and Natasha taste so sweet, her lips so soft. 

Natasha pulls away, a smile on her face. Wanda just blinks and looks at her. With a hand, Nat places Wanda’s hair behind her ear and caresses her jaw. Wanda leans in her touch, earning a chuckle from her person desperately owning her heart. 

« Would you like to sleep in my bed tonight? » 

Simple question, but her heart makes a flip again and she has to repress a choke. 

« Please » she answers. 

Nat nods once and pulls her against her chest again. She stands up, picking her up like she weighs nothing. Wanda grips her shirt and buries her face in her neck, where she feels safe, so safe. 

Natasha brings them to her room and settles the both of them in her bed. She big spoons Wanda, creating a shield between her and the world. Wanda sighs and relaxes. She already feels her eyelashes growing heavy and it’s hard to keep her eyes open. 

« I love You, Wanda, I have since the first day » Natasha blurts out suddenly. 

Wanda blinks. She turns around and faces Nat. 

« But... I made you suffer I hurt you and- » she is cut by another sweet kiss on her lips. 

« It wasn’t your fault. And I don’t judge people by their worst mistake. It would be highly hypocritical, you know why... » 

The witch sighs before turning around again and melting into Nat’s embrace.

« I love you too Natasha, since the first day. » 

There it is. The inevitable truth. 

« I got you » Natasha replies « you’re safe. You’re my girl now, and I’ll protect you, you can sleep my baby we will talk in the morning. » 

For once, the voices are quiet. 

Wanda sleeps 17 hours straight, Natasha not leaving her side once. 

***

All it takes is one bad mission for everything to go down to shit again. As soon as they are back from the mission, Wanda goes straight to her room, ignoring Natasha’s pleadings through her door and stays there all day long. She lays in her bed, staring at the ceiling, emptiness eating her alive. 

It’s like a monster eating her alive she would often say to Pietro when she tried to explain to him what was going on. It's coming from the chest. It's always the chest, right in the middle. It's small at first. Then once the monster wakes up, it stretches and embraces the heart, squeezing it tight. Insatiable, its tentacles stretch out to embrace the chest, the entire rib cage. It imprisons the senses and emotions. She can't breathe, she suffocates. It attacks at the nape of the neck, then goes up to the back of the head and encompasses the brain. No emotion. Empty. Robots. That's how she might define herself when it happens. Still, she can feel the emotions trapped inside. She feels them pushing against the rib cage, so much so that it hurts physically. 

Isolation. That's what comes with it. At least more so than usual. She cuts all decks, not responding to messages. Easier to do when she was alone or when she is away. She hides her appearances from those she sees every day and she no longer responds to messages that arrive, or very succinctly, without emotion. « Yes », « no », « ok », « if you want ». Then total isolation. She doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep. She never goes out of her room. 

_Fat, useless, pathetic, go to hell._

The voices are back too, stronger than ever. They yell at her every minute and there’s nothing she can do to shut them up. Before she knows it, it’s been two weeks. Two weeks of no sleep, no eating, no movements. Natasha’s pleadings are longer and longer every day. Wanda often hears her sitting on the floor and staying for hours. It makes her cry harder of how sweet it is. She shouldn’t stay, shouldn’t care so much. That’s so _wrong_. 

She stands up and goes to her bathroom. Her muscles protest, hurting her. She makes another mistake when she glances at the mirror. 

_Disgusting. Pathetic. Do you really think Natasha will still want this? Want you?_

She is so thin that her bones stick out through her skin and yet fat is the only word she can think of. 

_Not good enough Wanda, you’ve never been enough._

She can’t breathe. Everything is spinning as she desperately opens her mouth, looking for air. Her lungs are compressed, leaving no room for air. She grips the sink but her muscles give up, malnourished. She falls on the ground, her hip bones crashing first. She stays there breathing heavily, seeking air but quite unable to let anything entering her body.

She vaguely hears Jarvis telling her something, her vision getting darker every second. She hears footsteps running at her and the cold floor is replaced by a warm shaking body. She can hear her name, but her voice won’t respond. Her mind finally registers the smell coming from the body against her own. 

_Natasha._

Just hearing the name in her head makes her feel better. Her lungs respond again, allowing her to breathe. She is pulled in Nat’s neck and rests her lips an inch away from the other woman’s skin. Closing her eyes, Natasha holding her tighter is the last thing she feels before she is taken by the darkness. 

***

When she wakes up again, she is in her bed and feels a lot better than she did. The sunlight gently filters through the curtains, creating a subdued atmosphere that she finds particularly pleasant. She tries to move but is instantly blocked by the two strong arms around her waist. Turning around, she meets Natasha’s beautiful eyes and her gentle smile. She blushes, ashamed of what happened. 

« How are you? » the redhead asks softly

« I- A lot better, thank you, Natasha… » 

She looks down, not wanting to give too much away but Natasha doesn’t buy it and she grabs her chin, making her look in her eyes again. Slowly, she brings their lips together and kisses Wanda. She is kissing Wanda. Kissing her like that’s the last thing she wants to do, like she loves her beyond measure, _like she loves her. She is loved._

When she pulls away, Natasha is smiling so tenderly it brings tears to her eyes again. Wanda wraps herself around the redhead and clings onto her desperately. 

« I think I need help… » she murmurs quietly. 

Natasha only nods once and holds her tighter. 

« Life can get better, Wanda, let me show you how much you’re worth it. »

And in the end, yes, Wanda still thinks life’s a bitch. Only now that she has Natasha, maybe just maybe it can be bearable. 


	6. WandaCarol - Day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda-Carol wedding day <3  
> Purely fluff because we all need it right now!  
> Expect some updates soon :)

Wanda was nervous. Like really really nervous. She couldn’t stop fidgeting at her dress, always checking her reflexion in the mirror to see if anything had gone wrong in 2 seconds. Oh god, if only her heart could stop ramming in her chest like a hammer! The banging against her ribs had been going on for hours and certainly wouldn’t stop until the end of the ceremony. Sighing, Wanda took one more glance at the mirror. A million questions were going through her head. _What if I fall? What if someone stands against it? What if Carol says no? Oh god please no… Everything but this!_ Feeling overwhelmed, Wanda tried to take deep breathes, failing miserably as the room got smaller and smaller around her. 

« Wanda? Wanda, are you ready? Everyone is waiting. » 

Wanda wanted to answer, really, but she just couldn’t. She turned around, wishing to face the person requesting entrance but her head spun and she stumbled forward. 

« Wanda, are you her- WOAH WANDA! »

A pair of strong arms circled her waist, keeping her upright. 

« Hey hey Wanda, breath, please. »

She focused on the voice and finally let air enter her lungs again. With her vision getting less blurry, she found herself face to face with a worried-looking Natasha, still firmly pressed against her to support her weight. Wanda blinked before pulling away slowly, using Nat’s arm for balance. 

« Thanks Nat… »

« Are you okay? »

« Y-yeah I think. »

« Mind to explain? » 

« I don’t know I just… »

Wanda gulped. How could she explain? Fortunately, Nat had been in her shoes a few years ago. The Russian’s face softened and she took Wanda’s hand in her own, reassuring. 

« Everything’s going to be fine Wanda. I know you worry right now, and it’s normal. But the worries will be gone as soon as you’ll see her. »

« But what if she regrets? What if she realizes she doesn’t want to marry me anymore? Nat, I couldn’t handle it! »

« You two are really meant for each other » Natasha chuckled.

« W-why do you say that? »

« Because I was with her not even ten minutes ago and she was in the same state. »

« Carol… worries?? » 

« Of course she worries silly! She wouldn’t stop pacing in the room. I calmed her and she finally accepted to wait for you at the altar. » 

Nodding Wanda looked again in the mirror. And for the first time maybe in 3 hours, she smiled. She could do it, she was ready. At her finger shone the ring Carol gave her the day they got engaged. The witch remembered everything about that night, from the delicious taste for her homemade sushis to her tear of joy and her shock when she turned to see Carol a knee on the ground and anxiousness written all over her features. 

Truth was nobody understood Wanda better than Carol. Especially because Carol had lived a similar experience to the brunette’s. Both fighting in the wrong team until they discovered the truth, Carol took Wanda and her past without hesitation, something that touched the Sokovian’s heart more than any gift or word. When Wanda gathered the courage to tell Carol everything she endured with Hydra, the Captain wanted nothing more than find her lover’s raptor and kill them promptly (which she eventually did, with a little of Fury’s help and a lot of photon blast and destroyed Hydra facilities). Carol was nothing more than perfect to Wanda’s eyes. Her cockiness, her constant teasing tone, Wanda felt free. 

She also discovered with the blonde that she craved touching. Being deprived of a motherly touch created a huge need in her, accentuated by her new powers. Nobody dared touch her of fear that she would read their minds. The first hug she ever had after Ultron was from Natasha who she considered now as the closest from a mother she would ever have which was precisely why she had asked the latter to walk down the aisle with her. Carol gave her hugs and kisses whenever she asked for, at any hour and the witch absolutely loved it. Staying for hours in Carol’s arms, protected, spread like a koala on the Captain’s chest was one of her favorite things to do. She couldn’t wait now to be called her wife. 

« Ready? »

Wanda looked at Nat and confidently took the redhead’s hand in hers. Natasha smiled and walked out with the brunette’s arms around hers. In the garden, Carol’s nervousness was raising. Wanda still wasn’t here and it had been nearly twenty minutes since Nat had said she was going to check on her to-be wife. _What if she doesn’t want anymore?_ Carol thought, mirroring unconsciously her lover’s anxieties. Next to her, Maria and Valkyrie stood, respectively in a dress and a suit, silent support for the short-haired woman. The blonde’s train of thoughts was quickly interrupted when all voices shut down at once, announcing Wanda’s arrival. Soft music started to play and finally _finally_ Wanda appeared at the end of the alley, Nat beside her. 

The moment Wanda’s eyes met Carol’s one, the world around them faded. It was just her and the woman who had her heart. Carol was absolutely breathtaking. She looked so glorious in her white suit, no shirt under her jacket, just a white laced bra hugging her rond breasts perfectly. Her pants were underlining her ass and toned legs admirably and gosh she was really the hottest thing Wanda had ever seen with her new pixie cut, short hair waiting to be pulled playfully by Wanda’s long fingers. 

Carol, for her part, didn’t think less about the brunette. Her dress brushed her curved wonderfully, showing just enough cleavage for Carol to want to see more without enlightening jealousy from the blonde. Her lipstick underlined her lips and Carol licked hers at the sight. Before they both realized it, Natasha and Wanda had joined Carol at the altar and Wanda was taking Carol’s hands in hers, squeezing reassuringly. Nat stepped back, letting Fury, who directed the ceremony, talk. Wanda barely listened, focusing instead on Carol’s brown and golden orbs, still wondering how she got to marry her. She heard Carol saying « I do » and then suddenly it was her turn. « I do » escaped her lips almost before Fury had finished asking her. And then Carol was smiling at her, leaning closer, _kissing her_ so tenderly it almost hurt. The Maximoff-Danvers clan was born.

« I love you » Carol whispered against her lips, like a secret promise between them, and this alone mattered most to Wanda than everything that had been said before. Because she knew that this was Carol entirely, not from religious texts even if she requested them in the first place.

Diving into her wife’s (her wiiiiiife) eyes, Wanda smiled and cupped Carol’s cheeks, pulling her into another kiss as around them claps exploded from all their friends and family. Natasha was silently wiping tears that Steve let freely roll down his cheeks. Maria and Val were hugging, happy to finally see their best friend settling and pursuing her happiness. 

Later, when they eventually got to leave the party and when Wanda collapsed on the bed, she wondered how she could have been so nervous. Because she was more than ready to live this with Carol. And when she melted in her now-wife’s embrace, moaning and devouring each inch of skin she could reach and letting Carol do the same, she knew. This was her day one to happiness, and she hoped noting would ever stop the number from increasing. 

_(spoiler: everything that tried to stop their happiness promptly received a thank but no thank from the duo, usually with a few punches and photon blasts, courtesy of Carol, and some mental manipulation, courtesy of Wanda. The number never stopped increasing.)_


	7. WandaCarol - Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda and Carol share a hot time. It goes a little sideways but neither of them would have it any other way.

None of them had any idea about how it happened. One minute they were enjoying their time together and the minute after, Carol was flying to Cho’s office a fast as she could, carrying a fainted Wanda in her arms. 

They were in space, enjoying some time alone in one of Carol’s numerous houses through the galaxy. It was one of Wanda’s wishes after hearing Carol talking so many times about the universe. She wanted, no, needed, to see that for herself. 

_« Tell me about space again, »_

_Untangling herself a bit from the witch, Carol looked down at her. She smiled softly and took Wanda back on her chest. The younger woman laid her head next to Carol’s heart, where she found it more relaxing as the Captain resumed stroking her long hair._

_« What do you wanna know, baby? »_

_« Tell me about the feeling. How it is to be beyond the sky. »_

_Carol took a deep breath and closed her eyes to gather her memories._

_« The first word I can think about is freedom. When I am up there, just flying, there’s nothing but me and the deafening sound of silence. You might think it’s terrifying but it’s quite the contrary. On Earth or any other planet, to be honest, it’s never really quiet. You of all people know what I mean. You can hear people thin all day and with my enhanced hearing, silence is never something we can afford… But up there, for the first time, it’s no one but me. I am floating, surrounded by all those stars, galaxies, and planets but no sound, just my breathing. I can go where I want, visit very planet I need, let myself get lost. There’s no north, no south, no point to help you to locate yourself. Up is down and down is up but it’s not disorienting. Sometimes I spend hours just floating and admiring. At least before I met you. It’s better than punching a bag until my knuckles are all bloody… »_

_Through Carol’s speech, Wanda had closed her eyes but the last sentence had her reopen them._

_« Bad coping mechanism? » she asked softly._

_« Unfortunately yes. I blame it on being an ex-military tho. »_

_« I’d like to go with you. In space. »_

_« Wanda… You would die there. In seconds. I’m sorry but that’s not possible… »_

_« And what if we find a way? A way for me to breathe and survive? I can already fly! »_

That’s how they ended there, after asking Tony for a little help with the device that would help Wanda survive behind the atmosphere. It had been pretty quick, only a few days. When Tony gave his latest invention to the young witch, her eyes shone like a child at Christmas. She didn’t waste any time using it and the very same day, they were heading to space, where they flew and laughed for hours before deciding to use Carol’s house for a nice meal. 

After diner, both had decided to change into comfy clothes and settle in bed for a movie night and that’s when things started to get… interesting. It wasn’t Wanda’s fault if her hand accidentally slipped and brushed one of Carol’s nipples. She didn’t mean anything when she placed soft kisses on the blonde’s neck on her pulse point. And it was pure HASARD if she settled her hand on her lover’s pelvis, just above where Carol really needed her to be. So it was of course not obvious to anyone why she was suddenly pinned to the bed, Carol’s fit body straddling her lap, her eyes full of lust and desire. 

« What are you playing at? » Carol growled, her voice low. 

A smirk appeared on Wanda’s face. 

« I don’t know what you mean »

« Hell yeah, you know. Don’t play with me. »

« You don’t like to be tricked, Captain? » the witch teased. 

With an animalistic growl, Carol attacked Wanda’s lips in a bruising kiss, making her moan loudly but return it with as much fever. Soon both were naked, tangled against each other, strong hands pinning Wanda down. Her back arched when the blonde’s skilled tongue brushed her clit, enlightening her inner fire once more. Before Carol, she didn’t know it could be possible to ever feel like this. To love and to feel loved this much. Sometimes, it was so overwhelming she had to hug her tight and cry. Though she wasn’t one to easily express her feelings, she knew Carol knew how much she mattered to her. So she made sure to show how much she appreciated her lover’s work, grabbing the blonde hair tenderly to squeeze it, moaning deliciously. 

For her part, Carol couldn’t remember having tasted something more delicious than Wanda. Her skin so soft under her calloused hands, her peachy scent, it was intoxicating for the Captain. Her heart was ramming in her chest each time she got to touch Wanda. She took everything Wanda offered her as a blessing, from her innocent kisses to her more intimate parts. Maybe it was because of the whole new space experience, but Carol could feel this moment was more special than any other they had before. Her skin was hotter and she felt more connected than ever with Wanda. When the younger woman climaxed, both felt drained beyond exhaustion. 

Immediately, Carol knew something was off. Wanda tensed beside her, her face pale and sweaty. She looked really sick, which settled Carol in an immediate worry. 

« Carol… I don’t feel good… » was all she managed to get out before collapsing. 

Gasping Carol dressed her up and before suiting up and picking her up. Unlocking her power, she flew back to Earth full speed while sending a message to Helen Cho to warn her about their arrival. 

When she landed at SHIELD, Wanda was still unconscious and no one dared to stop the Captain as she walked quickly through the corridors. She burst into Cho’s office and thanked God when she saw everything ready. 

« Lay her on the table, » Cho told her gently. 

Listening to her, Carol stepped forward and laid Wanda, not letting go of her hand when she stepped aside to let Cho work.

Quickly getting to work, the doc plugged an IV into Wanda’s arm and took a sample of blood. As she was to get the results, Wanda began to stir. 

« Carol… » she whispered. 

« Yes honey I am here… » Carol answered, squeezing her hand. 

Smiling, Wanda turned her head to look at Carol. The blonde did her best to put on a reassuring smile. 

« Cho will be there soon with your result baby »

Wanda nodded her head before cupping her cheek. 

« Hey… Stop worrying I am okay, okie? »

« Sorry… I can’t stop worrying when it comes to you. »  
Wanda was about to answer when Cho came back.

« Ah, Wanda, good thing you’re awake! How do you feel? »

« A little nauseous… but nothing more »

« What does she have Helen…? » Carol inquired

Cho suddenly felt insecure. 

« Well, how to say that… You… you’re pregnant Wanda.»

Both women froze. 

« P-pregnant..? How…?! » Wanda rambled

Carol stood there, blinking. She couldn’t think about anything but how. No explanation made sense but that Wanda had cheated on her and she refused to believe it. She had faith in her, in their love. There should be something else, right? 

« There’s something else » Cho went on. 

Wanda looked her, pleading her to go on. 

Cho took a deep breath. « Congratulations Carol, you’re the father. » 

« WHAT?! » they screamed at the same time. 

« I found traces of both your powers. I can’t explain but it seems that their combination created this. »

« Wanda… is carrying my child? » Carol asked, incredulous. 

« She is » Cho confirmed 

Carol looked at Wanda for a few seconds, unsure of how to react. She was extremely happy with the news but they had never really talked about it and she didn’t really know what Wanda thought about it. But then a beautiful bright smile broke Wanda’s face and she was tearing up and Carol couldn’t do anything but take her in her arms and hug her tight. 

When they left Cho’s office 30 minutes later, both were smiling and happy about this new adventure. None of them really knew how it would be, but they weren’t worried at all. They had each other so they knew it would be okay.

***

The pregnancy took a lot on them. Carol took a break from space-saving and missions to be as much as she could with Wanda and she refused completely to let the pregnant woman out of her sight from more than five minutes. Wanda appreciated the care, but sometimes she found it a bit overwhelming tho she never told Carol because when she fell asleep every night on Carol’s voice talking to the baby, she couldn’t think about anything but how perfect it was. 

And everything made sense and became worth it when nine months later, their beautiful baby girl was born. They named her Maggie after Wanda’s mother, Carol wanted it to be like this even if Wanda insisted on the fact that it shouldn’t have to be this way if she didn’t want to. She had Wanda’s hair and Carol’s piercing hazelnut eyes. Carol cried as soon as Maggie was laid on Wanda’s chest and stroked her daughter’s cheek. Wanda wasn’t any better, exhausted from the delivery but beyond happy to finally meet the little being they had created from their love. She was their little miracle, perfect, one they would cherish until the end of time.


	8. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a shitty day  
> Thanks God Maria is here to make it all better
> 
> Y/N: Your Name
> 
> Be kind, it's my very first reader insert text <3

To say today was a shitty day was an understatement. You had lived bad days, like everyone at least once in their life, but today was particularly harsh. Each time you thought it couldn’t be worse, it did. 

It started this morning when you woke up with the most painful period cramps you had experienced in a long time. Your sheets were stained with red, as well as your pajama’s pants and your panties. The pain radiating from your belly was overwhelming, going down your thighs to your knees and going up to your chest. Every small movement caused you to groan and the urge to simply stay here and never get up again made itself more and more present in your mind. You sighed deeply before forcing your body to get up. Usually, your girlfriend of three years, Maria, would have brought you tea and a hot bottle with some toasts and painkillers, telling you to go change while she changed the sheets. You would wait for her on the couch and she would join you, laying your head on her lap and playing with your hair while you watched a Disney movie. She would tell you stories until you fell asleep and then only then would she lay by your side and hold you before falling asleep herself. Problem was, it had been three weeks since you’d seen your girlfriend, the latter being away on a mission you couldn’t even contact her on. « Perks of being the Second in command of SHIELD’s girlfriend… » you thought miserably. You didn’t blame her at all, you knew it was likely to happen when you started dating her, you just really wished that for once, you were both just normal people. 

After changing yourself and cleaning the mess, you were about to leave for work when a message arrived on your phone, telling you that your grandmother’s condition had gotten worse. Her cancer had been detected a few months earlier, at a very advanced stage, and although doctors had prescribed chemotherapy, they were rather pessimistic about her chances of survival. You had faith in her, she was the strongest person you knew and you absolutely loved her, so you were confident that she would thwart the prognosis. Tears formed in your eyes as you read the text. She was about to go under immediate surgery to remove the tumor. After calling your boss to explain your situation, you ran to the hospital, hoping you could say goodbye in case something wrong happened. 

Entering the room, you looked at your grandma, who had a smile on her face. You smiled back as you came to sit beside her bed, taking her hand in yours. She looked at you, a sparkle in her eye, as she acknowledged your presence. 

« Hello Mein Schatz… » she whispered. 

« Hello grandma. I missed you,» you replied gently. 

« So did I, Mein Kleiner Engel, so did I » she smiled even more. 

You stayed with her until the doctors came to take her for the operation. Only then you broke down, letting your tears fall freely as you stood in the now empty room. A nurse came to check on you, and even though it felt good to have someone to talk to, you knew who you really longed for. 

The day went on like this. When you went out of the hospital, you went straight to your usual coffee shop. Since you had called in sick for the day, you thought you could take time for yourself a little bit. You arrived there only to find it closed for the day because the owner was sick. You went to buy groceries and of course, your favorite brand of cookies was sold out. Then you were walking in the streets, lost in your thoughts when someone bumped into you and spilled their coffee on your shirt. The burn was unbearable and you whined as the pain in your stomach was starting to make itself known again. 

Deciding you had had enough, you ran home, tripping on the stairs as you rushed up and entered the apartment you shared with your girlfriend. It was as empty as when you left it but at least you could break down peacefully. You threw your ruined shirt in the machine and picked up one of Maria’s hoodie, smelling it as you put it on. Her familiar scent wrapped around you and you smiled. Whatever happened, you could never have enough of it. 

The weight of your day quickly came back, however, leaving a ball in your stomach and blocking your chest. You felt drained, so even if it was only 6 pm, you just curled up on Maria’s side of the bed, burying your face in her pillow. Wishing one more time she could be here with you, you let the darkness take over you after hours of crying. 

***

Sliding her key in the locket, Maria tried to be as discreet as possible when she entered your shared apartment. Finally! After three weeks of being away, her shoulders relaxed for the first time. She was at home. Stepping into the living room, she smiled as the smell of coffee and waffles hit her. It was your favorite Sunday breakfast duet. Dropping her bag on the floor, she made her way to the bedroom, where you would most likely be because it was 4 am. She opened the door and sighed softly when she heard your soft snores. As stressful as her job was, everything was worth it if meant she could see you again at the end of the day. Often, she had to stay at work at night, coming home when you slept and going out before you rise. Each time tho, she made sure she left sometimes for you to remind you how much she loved you and valued you. It could be a small gift, pancakes awaiting on the counter, or just a note. Either way, Maria had a rule: there wasn’t a day where she didn’t make sure you knew how much she loved you. This is precisely why this mission had been tiring: she couldn’t talk to you at all, to let you know she was okay and to be sure you were okay yourself. It was something she feared: to come home one day and find you gone. SHIELD had many enemies and Maria’s high rank in the organization had brought many threats on her head. It would absolutely destroy her if you were hurt because of her. 

Going further into the room, she walked until she was by your side of the bed and kneeled in front of you. Then she froze. Now that she was closer, she could see the marks your awful day had left on you. Even in your sleep, your eyes were puffy and your cheeks red and dry with tear strains. Your face wore a small frown and your snores were interrupted with small whines. She frowned, feeling her heartbreaking sightly as she wondered why you would be in such a state. 

When you whined louder, she cupped your cheek and stroked it, shhing you quietly. You relaxed immediately, smiling slightly as you leaned in her touch. Maria felt a warming feeling in her chest. Gosh, she loved you so much. Unable to resist anymore, she leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose. You sighed softly, calm again, and Maria decided that the discussion could wait. All she wanted right now was to slip beside you in bed and sleep with you in her arm. She got up and undressed, putting on pj’s. Your whines had restarted, so she decided to skip her night routine and just laid in bed with you. She pulled you against her chest and you gripped her shirt tightly. Sighing again, she stroked your hair smoothly and closed her eyes, letting sleep take over her as she spooned you. The discussion could definitely wait. 

***

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was how warm you were. Not too warm, but just perfectly warm, the kind of warm which made you feel protected and safe. The second thing that reached your mind was how comfy your pillow was. You snuggled against it and nearly jumped out of your skin when it moved. Perfectly awake now, you pulled away and found yourself staring at your girlfriend who was looking at you tenderly. Damn you missed her ocean blue eyes.

« Ria! » you screamed, launching yourself in her arms. 

She laughed, catching you and holding you against her chest. Now that she was here, you felt a huge weight off your shoulder. You could breathe again. You snuggled against her while her hand came to rest in your hair. 

« Missed you… » you mumbled quietly. 

« I missed you too Y/N. I am so glad to be home » she answered in your hair. 

« How are you? » you inquired.

« I am fine, don’t worry. I went to the med bay I promise. Only a few scratches. »

It was a deal you made when you started dating. Whatever happened, she would never skip her check-in and would come back to you after being cleared by the doctors. You knew that before you, she would often skip it but not anymore. For her, you mattered more than everything else. 

« And you honey? » she asked back « How did it go? »

You froze. Logically, you knew she would ask you as she cared for you, but it didn’t make it any easier. You wanted to tell her everything right away, but a lump had formed in your throat, threatening to spill tears as soon as you would open your mouth. You hold her tighter, breathing in her chest to gather the courage to talk. You didn’t want to put anything more on her shoulders, she had enough responsibilities and you refused to become a liability. 

« Y/N..? » 

Without you noticing, you had started crying again and you were now soaking Maria’s shirt with tears. 

« I- I am s-sorry »

« Shhhhh… » Her long fingers ran into your hair again « It’s okay, I am here now » she comforts you. « Let it out Y/N, I got you, baby »

And so you did. You cried, and Maria holds you. Her heart broke each time you hiccuped and she wondered what happened to make you feel so low. 

After what felt like hours, your tears stopped and you breathed deeply. Looking up, you saw Maria looking at you with nothing more than love in her eyes. 

« Ready when you are, honey, no rush. Would you like a bath first? »

You shook your head. 

« No… I want to tell you »

So you explained. Your periods, your grandmother, the coffee shop, and mostly her absence, everything that had happened. She listened carefully and hold your hand the whole time. When you finished, she cupped your cheek and kissed you tenderly. Nothing had taste sweeter in your life. 

« How about we do that: » she told you « you go freshen up while I prepare breakfast and then we can snuggle all day, okay? We watch movies and eat waffles until we explode. » she smiled. 

« I would love that » you answered before leaning in for another quick kiss. 

« I really missed you. No communication was torturous. » she sighed. 

You hummed in response, leaving a small kiss on her neck.

« How come you make everything better as soon as you’re here? » you asked seriously. 

« Because I am awesome darling, that’s why you’re with me,» she smirked. 

You laughed and hit her arm gently. 

And then it hit you. No matter how hard days could get, she would always make it better. Not because she was perfect or awesome (even though she was) but because she was herself. She was the one who made the best pancakes and who would hold you to sleep every night. You had never felt more grateful to have her, and even later when you both settled on the couch to watch Frozen, you couldn’t stop looking at her. How her nose frowned when she laughed, how her eyes sparkled when she looked at you. She was your everything, you were sure of it. Maybe she was more at work than with you, but you knew that you were meant to be. So as long as she came back to you with pancakes and sang Let it go like a dork with you, you would never leave her. 

And maybe one day, you would gather enough courage to give her the ring you kept in a little velvet box in the closet. 

Little did you know she thought the same. 


	9. BlackHill - If I knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Red Room is back and they have found Natasha. Tho this time, it might endanger more than just herself. 
> 
> Warnings: none :)

_If I knew how little time we had, I would have run to you sooner_

Natasha can hear her breathing in her ears as she runs in the hallways. She vaguely hears murmurs on her way but she couldn’t care less at the moment. All she focuses on is her goal: to come home. Her home. The one she built with Maria, the one they built together, hand in hand. She runs as fast as she can. Her mind is raging, her legs shaky. Go home, go to Maria. Streets pass but she barely acknowledges them. She knows the way, printed in her mind. It’s just her body running on automatic mode, her mind blanks and frozen with fear. _Please, please, please, be alive._

She didn’t expect it to be like this, it shouldn’t be like this. She certainly didn’t expect a call from a distressed Tony, telling her that her house had been bombed while she was gathering papers at SHIELD. She most definitely wasn’t prepared to learn that the Red Room was back and that they had found her. Yes, of course, she was sad about the house. It was her safe place, somewhere she could be just Natasha and nothing more. There, she could be vulnerable without feeling threatened but that’s not what was important. No, what’s important was that it was Sunday, meaning Maria had been home too. Bombed, like the house. Images dance before her eyes and Natasha forces them away, increasing her speed again. _Maria, Maria, please hold on._

_If I knew it was going to end like this, I would have held you tighter_

One street away from her house, she can smell the disgusting smell of burn mixed with incentive. She tears up, not sure if it’s the smoke or her heart telling her the truth she refuses to consider as a possibility. A sound of a siren can be heard as well as voices. _No, step away, don’t touch her._

Using her last assets, Natasha rushes in her -their- street, only to be stopped by a fireman. She sees his lips moving but she can’t hear anything except for her heartbeat. She struggles against his grip, only thinking about her wife. _No, Maria, I have to get to Maria._

The scream of the fireman yelling at her not to go in, that it’s dangerous barely makes its way into her foggy mind. She rushes headlong into the flames, with the sole aim of finding her wife.

_If I knew I wouldn’t see you again, I would have told you I love you over and over again_

Immediately, she chokes on the smoke, slouching down to get the fresh air close to the ground. Her arms burn, flames licking her skin in hunger. She winces in pain but it’s nothing she hasn’t handled, nothing she can’t handle. Maria is worth a few burns. 

« RIA!!! » she yells, protecting herself in her elbow. « RIA, ANSWER ME, MASHA PLEASE! »

She coughs again, feeling the smoke invading her lungs. She stays as quiet as possible, lying in wait. 

Suddenly, it’s there. This instinct, this connexion they have. Calling her, urging her to go to her wife. She lets out a sharp breath and turns her head to the right. _She is there, I feel her._

_If I knew I wouldn’t kiss you again, I would have printed your lips in my mind, just to remember how much I loved to feel them against mine._

She finds Maria under a pile of wood, probably their bedroom floor, meaning Maria had been in the kitchen when it happened. A lump forms in her throat and Natasha whimpers, salty tears rolling on her cheek. She wipes them furiously with her sleeve, refusing to give up. Slowly, she starts removing the rumba from her beloved, careful about her injuries. Maria looks unconscious and Nat can’t feel her chest rising, immediately setting a huge panic attack in her chest. _No, not like this, not for this. Not because of me._

Once she has cleared the body from under the rumble, she cradles Maria’s head on her lap. Her vision is getting blurry, her breathing is irregular. It doesn’t stop her from stroking her thumb on Maria’s creamy skin and begging for her to open her eyes. She trails two fingers in her neck and lets out a broken yet happy sob when she finds a pulse. It’s weak but it’s here. Natasha knows her time and Maria’s are limited. She picks her up bridal style and goes back the same way she came in. Her arms are heavy, with melted skin screaming against the row material of her clothes. She only thinks about Maria. Maria who she carries against her chest. Maria who she has to save. Maria. _I am gonna kill them all, burn them to ashes._

Walking is getting hard. Her legs weigh tons, she can’t even feel the pain anymore. It’s too much everywhere. When she looks around, she doesn’t even recognize where she is. Flames surround her, trapping her in a cage. Finally, her body gives up and she snuggles Maria to her chest as she falls on her knees. She cries out, the sudden contact with the floor waking up her burns. She crawls until her back touches the walls and settles Maria on her lap before forming a ball around her wife to protect her. The fire hasn’t reached her corner yet, but it’s a matter of minutes. All she wants to focus on right now is Maria. Crying softly, Natasha looks at her lover’s features. She has always thought Maria was beautiful. Even the gash on her head and bruises blooming on her skin can’t change this. If Nat has to die now, she is happy she gets to be with the only person she wants to be with every day. Her mind is dizzy but she fights to see Maria’s face a little more. Hugging her tightly, she places Maria’s face in the crook of her neck. The last thing she sees before darkness takes over is the peaceful look on Maria’s face. 

_If I knew that it would be our last goodbye, I would have broken my heart in two, trying to save a part of you._

***

When she comes to, Natasha is blinded by bright lights on the ceiling, waking her pounding headache. White is the only color she can see and the smell of disinfectant is overwhelming. She coughs, her throat sore. She can feel bandages on nearly all her body, from her arms to her legs and chest. With a whine, she tries to sit up, only to be pushed back gently by a hand. She turns her head to the right and finds herself staring back at Fury, his hand still on her shoulder. He shakes his head, silently forbidding her to move. 

« Ria… » she croaks. 

Fury doesn’t say anything but brings a glass of water with a straw to her lips. Painfully, she shakes her head. 

« Ri…a… » she croaks again. 

« Commander Hill is alive, Agent Romanoff. »

A shallow breath escapes her lungs and a tear makes its way on her cheek. She smiles at Fury and nods, barely reprieving the pearls of joy that threaten to flow out of her eyes. Fury approaches the glass again and this time, Natasha accepts it. The water feels like heaven, comforting her dry throat. 

« Condition? » she rasps when she is done. 

« Yours or hers? »

« Both, please » 

« Commander Hill suffers from intense internal bleeding, a contusion, harmless burns, and severe oxygen deprivation. Her surgery lasted 29 hours, Bruce and Cho helped a lot. »

29 hour? How is that possible? Natasha thinks. 

« Me? »

« Deep and severe burns on the chest, arms, and legs. Oxygen deprivation, carbon dioxide intoxication, deep exhaustion. »

« How long? » she whispers. 

« A week and a half. Your condition was very severe, Cho preferred putting you into a small coma while she used her tools on you. »

« -Nd R…ia? »

« Still asleep. The internal bleeding caused trouble but she is fine, Cho assured it. »

Nodding again, Natasha looks at Fury.

« Thank- you »

« I care about all my agents, Romanoff, but you better not do that again, do I make myself clear? »

« Clear and sound, boss, » The redhead grins.

She is cut by a coughing spree which makes her wince. 

« Ria? » she asks, begging for Fury to understand.

« I already asked your transfer in her room, I’ll take you now » he answers, moving to grab her bed and pushing her towards the door.

« Thank you, Nick… »

« Don’t mention it. »

Two minutes later and Natasha is securely settled next to her wife who she can’t stop staring at. 

« If you need anything, press the button, » Fury tells her before heading out.

Maria looks so peaceful, her skin so white. Groaning in pain, Natasha manages to move her hand so she can hold Maria’s. She links their fingers and breathes deeply. Now that she is home, that she knows that her wife is safe and alive, she isn’t afraid of letting go anymore. She succumbs to the darkness with a smile on her face.

***

When she wakes up again, it takes her two seconds to realize that the smoothing sensation on her hair is Maria’s fingers gently scratching her scalp. She opens her eyes and finds herself looking at two beautiful orbs whose blue she would recognize anywhere. 

« Hi… » she rasps at her wife. 

« Hello, baby » Maria replies with a tired smile. 

Laying on Maria’s touch, Natasha takes two seconds to get out of her foggy state. 

« You came for me, » Maria whispers. 

« I would always come for you » Nat replies after a few seconds. 

« That’s what I am afraid of. You could have died there. Look at you baby… » Maria’s eyes fill with tears. 

« If you were going to go, there’s no way I wouldn’t have fought first. There’s no world without you Masha. It’s us both or nothing at all » Natasha says firmly. 

Maria can only nod before resuming scratching Natasha’s scalp. 

« Asshole blew up our house » she mumbles, half asleep again. 

« We will rebuild it. I don’t need a house to have a home » is Maria’s response. 

Before she can reply, Natasha feels plump lips covering hers, and a soft thank you whispered against her lips. She smiles at her lover, beyond grateful that they are both alive. 

« Just so you know, I am going to track them down and kill them all. »

Maria’s orbs twitch, absolute trust dancing in them. 

« I know, but you don’t have to do that alone. After all, they nearly took you from me too. Wanna be my partner in crime? »

« With you? » Natasha grins « I would go over mountains »

She takes Maria’s hand in hers and holds it tightly. Both of them look at each other with a dangerous smile on their faces. Yes, they still have a lot of recoveries but after it is done? 

Let the hunt begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy endings are rare for me so enjoy this one! xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Just a new book to make you wait and have you entertained during quarantine!  
> Requests are open! if you want your one shot to be selected, send me:  
> \- a paring (GxG only)  
> \- angst/ fluff or both  
> \- a small plot you wanna see be developped 
> 
> Without these three elements, your request won't be accepted! 
> 
> Enjoy and keep smiling! you arent alone :)


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